Every person goes through several relationships during his life. He is up many times and down countless times. It’s not just like that in life, but also in love. Unfortunately, many times, that is, mostly, people make mistakes in relationships, they make mistakes in love. And it is precisely because of these mistakes that they suffer more and more. They suffer until they understand where they make the mistakes.
The basic mistake they make is understanding and understanding relationships. Perceiving and pigeonholing ideas about love. What love should look like according to their ideas. They are often influenced by stories from novels and romantic films, but they forget that the reality is completely different. One beautiful unexpected day will come when you will meet a person.
A person who charms you. A person who is definitely according to your expectations, at least in the beginning. That’s when you realize that this person must be yours only and you will do everything to not lose him. However, that is the stumbling block. At that moment, you start to expect the possible and the impossible from the other person. You will focus on fulfilling your dreams.
However, you forget that every single person also has his own ideas, his own. About your life, or about your life together. And then, precisely in the greatest phase of falling in love, the dependence on the other person will come, because the more you expect from him and the less you start to receive, the more dependents you create.
You want him to spend all his free time with you. You expect him to fulfill your every secret wish. You start to forget the other person’s needs. Then a war will start between two people who may really love each other very much… Everything beautiful that you created together starts to collapse like a house of cards.
This is how you build throughout your life and tear down again with your stupidity and ask yourself where you are making a mistake.
However, when the house you built x times collapses again, this time you really realize that you are probably making a mistake in something. Resp. that the fault lies in you. You will realize that you want to control a person, that you want to own him, that you want to control his life, that you want to replace his own decisions with your own.
You don’t let him make his own decisions. You want to spend all your free time with him and you forget that your lives, which you lived alone until now, did not end with your connection. They continue on. But more beautiful. You enrich your life with each other’s presence.
However, you cannot be dependent on a person. You have to give him some freedom. You have to give him the opportunity to make his own decision. I repeat! You cannot be dependent on others. Addiction does not produce anything good. Addiction destroys.
It destroys not only in the seeds, but also later, even before the completion of your common “construction”. He locks the other person in a certain cage, in which he begins to feel uncomfortable, and at this moment the person begins to look for a way out of this client. He is looking for a lock from it.
A lock to allow it to slide out. Unnoticed, slowly, but mainly to slip away. This is the moment when the two begin to drift apart, because the more one tries and the more he pushes the other, the more the other drifts away. He needs space, he needs the feeling he had before he was with the other who took away his space, he needs freedom…
Then you will realize that the more you try, the more you give, the more distant your loved one is. It’s a scenario that repeats itself for most of us. It repeats itself until you learn from it . And one day, when you again tear down that house you built together, built again with someone else and you stand by it, you will realize what you never did before… And only after this realization can you build in such a way that you not only build the house together, but it will also have really solid foundations.
Because… Love is not an addiction. Love is freedom. Love is knowing how to live together and at the same time your own life. Love is being able to be together and alone. Love is not an expectation, but it is a belief that what is supposed to be will actually be and that without forcing the other person into something. Love knows no bonds. Love is a choice.
However, no one voluntarily chooses a cage, does not give up his dreams, does not run away from what he has been chasing all his life. Love is faith. Love is trust. Love is when you give to another without expecting anything in return. Love is when you enjoy making another person happy.
Love is when a person is happy because of being with you. True love cannot arise from addiction. He cannot prevent her. Love is the choice to give yourself to a person and expect nothing. Love is not waiting for the phone to ring every two hours for the other person to tell you how much they love you.
Love is when you expect absolutely nothing from the other. Love is when that person gives you everything despite the fact that you ask for nothing .But love is mainly the fact that you want the other person to be happy most of all, when for the first time you don’t think about yourself, but about the other person.
Therefore, don’t spoil what can be truly beautiful just by focusing more on yourself than on the other person, because that’s not what love is about. Love is about giving a person a choice. You give him the opportunity to decide for himself whether he will give you “everything” or nothing .
But remember one thing, as long as you keep expecting something from the other person, it’s not the way to love, it’s the way to addiction and the way to its destruction . That’s why we don’t really love many times as we think we do.
We may experience falling in love many times during our lives, but love only when we give the other person wings and understand that we have a beautiful life individually, but the fact that we are together and not only from each other is because we both want it that way. Not just one..